OK.. this is it...

I have been truly inspired by my fellow bloggers. Their eating habits, exercise habits. There is *no* reason I cannot follow suit.
I have *not* been giving my all.
I have been slacking on exercising.
I have been snacking on terrible foods (candies candies candies) way too much!
I have *not* been taking accountability for my own actions.

This is it. I owe it to myself to get the ball rolling. There are so many days where I think, "why bother?" I grew up with a different struggle with my weight than a lot of people. I was soo skinny and had twig legs, and people would call be anorexic. I could eat and eat and eat and eat whatever i wanted, whenever I wanted, however much I wanted.
Life was grand. (minus the name calling from dingbats.)
I was naturally skinny and had a crazy high metabolism. I also danced since the age of 3, so that 'helped' me I guess.

I know exactly when I started to gain weight. I had left an emotionally abusive relationship that I was in for 5 long years. I moved in with my dad and we ate what he always eats: spaghetti and meatsauce, kraft dinner, perogies (I am ukrainian so that is a staple in our house). It seemed like it was the same foods being recycled each week for supper.
Then there was the me quitting smoking factor. When I left my ex, my dad did not know I smoked, and I woudln't smoke in his place, so I'd snack snack snack to keep myself busy. I would take BAGS of (dill pickle/ketchup) chips up to my room and chow down. That combined with pop, candies. The list goes on. I was just trying to keep my mind off of the smoking.
When I went out, I'd still smoke. It wasn't until I moved all the way across the country to be with Dave that I actually *quit* smoking.

Anyway, long story short. You can see my pattern of eating.
I feel that the stress of an emotionally abusive relationship + smoking lots + walking around a lot to get to and from work kept me at a nice size, but when I left I started to develop terrible habits.

Since then I've acknowledged that I've gained weight. I am aware that I need to DO something: exercise, eat healthy, to prevent me from gaining more and more as the years grow on.

When I went on my vacation last year I hated my body, I disliked my weight. And I was completely aware of that feeling all year; however a year later I am 10lbs heavier and still in the same standstill in terms of exercise & eating habits.

A while back I posted some of the reasons I have for wanting to lose weight. I really need to review those and keep them in mind. I know there are people who are struggling more than i am, but this is about being happy with myself. This is about being comfortable in my own skin, which I'm just not.

I need to stop being so lazy.
I need to MAKE TIME for exercising!
I need to REALLY eat right!

This is it, folks!

I hope to stop procrastinating once and for all!!

Old and fuzzy picture of a picture, but you can see my tummy that I miss so badly:



This pic was about 4years ago, in between abusive ex and wonderful current. You can see me with my smokes in hand...


And hrm, whaddaya know.. I have no recent pics of me. I can't stand taking pics anymore...
Here's one of me trying on a bridesmaid dress (not the one I'll be wearing) It's not the most flattering pic (I hate having pics taken, and I was talking throughout the whole episode)...